I was so curious when I picked up a copy of Messy Grace by Caleb Kaltenbach. I’m fairly certain that no one in my circle of friends has anything close to his life story.
Today, Caleb is a pastor of a large church, but he had a most unlikely childhood for this calling. He grew up being shuttled between divorced parents who both happened to be gay. In the book, he shares about his childhood, his conversion, his ministry and shares his journey to loving others without sacrificing convictions.
But the more I read, the more something else struck me. The personal stories were so transparent and vulnerable. He had a fascinating life without question. By the time I was half way through the book I was just…
sad.
I was sad that our Christian culture apparently needed to have a book that told the church to treat people with kindness and respect, like Jesus treated those around him.
All people. With love and respect.
What happened in our society that the church is just fine with having proud, angry, gluttonous, tax-evading, adulterous, lying, rude, judgmental, hypocritical people in our congregations…but not gay people? Why is this one, in particular, so much harder for people to handle?
I appreciated how he stuck to his convictions, holding true that the Bible never condones homosexuality. He is honest to his friends and family about that.
But dang. Christians can just be mean to the people who don’t line up directly with our beliefs.
Caleb gives some extra insight and understanding of gay culture – which was a great reminder. Homosexuality is not just about who you sleep with – it’s about a whole lifestyle, culture, community, family. When Christians attack and say that homosexuality is a sin, it’s making a much bigger statement than just ‘stop sleeping with people of the same sex.’
I love his statements that, when we become Christians, our identity should only be as ‘disciple.’ Period. We replace all of our hang-ups with grace. We believe first in the love of God. Not conservative, liberal, alcoholic, workaholic, missional, denominational…we are just disciples. All on the same page. All believing the same thing.
Also-kudos to Caleb for posting direct questions that churches can ask about how they will treat not only homosexuals, but really any other person who comes through their doors.
Loving people, empowering people, listening to people, directing people in growing their relationship with God. That’s our job. Attacking them, making rude statements, telling hurtful jokes – that’s not a reflection of God’s heart. Plain and simple. His examination of what a messy church looks like goes far beyond welcoming gay people through the doors. It is opening the doors for people who don’t look or act like us. For anyone who is in the margins. It’s believing that Jesus died for EVERYONE and EVERYONE is welcome at the table.
Just listening to the stories of Caleb’s childhood and how Christians were so cruel to his family and him should make us all stop and consider just how we treat anyone in our community, but especially the LGBT community. The church has been so cruel. Let’s go out, make some new friends and let the healing begin.
Messy Grace by Caleb Kaltenbach is in stores and on Amazon now in print, ebook and audible formats.
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