Please, Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.” – Mr. Rogers

Do you remember childhood television, before the days of school and stress?  In the 70s, my days were simple. We lived on a big piece of property out in the country and so my hours were spent playing outside with my dog, gardening with my mom, being creative, living in a world of make-believe, and running around without any fears.  My constant companion through these early days was Mr. Rogers.  The soft-spoken PBS host welcomed me each day into a magical world that looked surprisingly like mine. 

Daily he would sing how he is glad that I’m in his life. That I’m special. That I’m worth listening to. That I am a person of value. He would answer my questions.  He modeled how to live, sharing how we should strive to be kind and to see the best in each other.

I think we need this message now more than ever.

“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” – Mr. Rogers

The day after I saw It’s A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, another prominent pastor had just committed suicide.  Daily since then, politicians have been arguing. People are talking over each other instead of listening to each other.  Statistics say that we are lonelier now that we have ever been in the past.  Every morning my phone has news of shootings and violence.  We fear our neighbors so we stay behind our closed doors and fences.  Ring cameras keep people from our porches. Smartphones keep us from speaking to each other.

But Mr. Rogers opened a world where conversation was key. Where people and puppets modeled how we should communicate with each other. We celebrated each other’s differences and the neighborhood was built on characters on intentionality: listening, learning, and inspiring each other to be the best, kindest people we could be.

“When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong with the fearful, the true mixed in with the façade, and of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.” – Mr. Rogers

And the new film It’s A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood reminds us of the messages we may have forgotten from our childhood. 

Beautiful Day is on the true friendship between Tom Junod and Mr. Rogers, which was formed in a most unlikely way, and is chronicled in the 1998 Esquire article “Can You Say Hero?”.  (you can read the full article here – https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/tv/a27134/can-you-say-hero-esq1198/)

The film opens with journalist Lloyd Vogel getting a black eye. He is known for scandal, for scathing reviews and articles – and because of this, people are often understandably hesitant to work with him.  He has a new baby, and life is stressful. He’s adjusting to fatherhood. He’s trying to silence inner demons. And nothing comes easy in the world of freelance writing.

His boss throws him a bone. Esquire is doing an issue on heroes – and he is to cover Mr. Rogers.  A simple, short, 400-word assignment. He discovers that out of 100 people being profiled, only Mr. Rogers said ‘ok’ to Vogel writing their profile.  Skeptical and reluctant to do the story, but needing the work, Vogel travels to Pittsburg to meet the man, and an unlikely relationship is born. 

And I’ll leave the storyline there.

“Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors.” – Mr. Rogers

A few things I do want to highlight.  

One may question a feature film on such a quiet presence as Mr. Rogers, but be assured that Beautiful Day refuses to be cheesy or hokey or dumbed down. This is a film for adults. About adults.

Hanks’ portrayal of this treasured man is, that. A treasure. I had forgotten Mr. Roger’s soft voice. His calm tone. The pace of his cadence. His simple puppets. His routine of kindness. He was a deliberate man, and Hanks’s ability to harness his kind intensity is noteworthy.  Watching Hanks was nearly a challenge – as watching someone’s quiet care for others at first was hard to watch. My life is filled with noise, speed, fast talkers, loud talkers. Mr. Rogers invited anyone in his presence to take a deep breath and, for a moment, just be. 

Also – the performances by Matthew Rhys and Chris Cooper are to be lauded as well.  Rhys’ simple yet intense examination of a broken and hurting man, and Cooper’s man searching for forgiveness are quiet revelations in their own right.

It’s now been several months since I watched It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and it’s a film I just can’t shake.  It’s remembering what a small dose of kindness can do to the world. When we look at someone in the eye. When we ask “how are you?” and actually listen for an answer. When we send a thank you note, or think to share a moment. When we don’t speak down to anyone because of their job, position, or age. We can unknowingly change a person’s day, or life, by simply being kind. 

We need a good dose of Mr. Roger’s in the world today. I hope It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood becomes a catalyst for people to look around, smile, and remember what it’s like to be a child again. 

 “Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person.” – Mr. Rogers

In writing this, I just realized that 2 new families have moved on my block, and I haven’t been over to say hello. Perhaps the best way I can greet them is to put on a red sweater, put on my outside shoes, and say hello.  I may be the one bright smile they see today.


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