The Power of a 10-Minute Meltdown

I’m sure you can relate. Likely there is too much on your plate right now.  Life seems like a crazy balancing act. There’s barely enough room for a few moments with people you love.  While there may be a lot of good, no, great things happening, there are limited moments to stop, take a breath and enjoy the good stuff.

And then something big happens.

Everything shifts. Your busy schedule just went to frantic. Decisions that you make now have far-reaching consequences. You have to confront someone you love. Every time the phone rings, you fear it’s because you have to drop everything and run to help. You have to weigh what’s more important – finishing that work report for a client or taking a shower.

You begin to exclusively shop at stores that have some sort of pick-up window…and then when you get home and you realize they get the order wrong, you are just too tired to complain.

What was a person make with apple sausage anyway? Hope everyone enjoys their apple-flavored pasta at dinner tonight.

Well, Yesterday, I had it.  I hit the breaking point.

I’m a strong person. I am a positive person. I am – eerrr, was – an eternal optimist.  But a few months of stress followed by a horrible few days of conflict were just too much for me.

And I did 2 things I haven’t done before.

First – I started tearing up in front of one of my mom’s caregivers. When I received the ‘drop everything call’, I ran out of my office really without thinking … and when I arrived in my mom’s room, I couldn’t keep it together when the nurse explained to me a new health situation that needed immediate attention.

And then, when I went back to work, I read an email. An email from someone I loved with words that cut into my heart. And  I completely lost it.

Big ugly cry.

But I had to work. My schedule was so unexpectedly condensed from the previous call, I just couldn’t let this derail my Monday. I’d never get the time back.

So I made a deal with myself.

I gave myself time to just lose it.

For 10 minutes, I got to just feel what I was going through. I got to hurt. I got to scream. I got to be angry. I got to cry. Ugly cry. 

And then when my alarm when off, I washed my face. Took a deep breath. And got back to work.

While it wasn’t my most productive work day ever, in this season, it quickly became my most important work day. 

I’m not sure why over the past few months I’ve denied myself this freedom. The situations I’ve been thrown into hurt. A lot. You’ve probably been there. I didn’t deserve any of this. Something completely unexpected happens and you’re thrust into a whole new sitatuion.

I’ve committed myself to being strong for my family, my husband, my clients…but if I was giving advice to someone in my shoes, I would have told them to get all their emotions out. To sweat it out at the gym. To yell at the top of their lungs in the car. To ugly cry every chance that they get.

So why don’t I treat myself the same way?

Life is hard. No one is immune to that.  We have seasons that, quite frankly, suck. It shouldn’t be surprising. So why wouldn’t I give myself the same advice, and the same grace, that would give someone else?

Today, I have some tough conversations. I know it’s going to be a long day. But today I will extend myself grace. Today I will give myself a break.  And today, I have already written that 10 minutes into my schedule. I may not need it. But there’s a good chance that I will.

So don’t call me between 2:20 and 2:30 today. I’ve got something important on my schedule.