I’m a foodie. I love shopping for food, preparing food, serving food. It’s creative, it’s calming. And on a day when I need to feel like I have closure on something, ANYTHING, building a fantastic meal from start to finish can often set my mind at ease.
I’m somewhat confident that when Dr. Gary Chapman was writing his famous “5 Love Languages” book, it was just a small oversight that #6, Food, was left off the list.
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe food is the one thing that ties all of the love languages together.
Food is an Act of Service. We moved a lot when I was growing up and we attended a Methodist Church, a Church of God, and several other denominations. I graduated from a Baptist College and now attend an Anglican church. One strong theme that is consistent with each church scenario is that when someone is sick, you bring them a casserole. When someone passes away, you bring their family a casserole. When a baby is born, you gift them a casserole. If someone is in the hospital, you take some food to the people in the waiting room.
Ok, so maybe not necessarily a casserole, but you provide something to give sustenance. You give a meal that nourishes. You take away the pressure of the obligation to cook. You provide for their body and soul, and honestly, is there any better comfort food than a casserole?
Food a Gift that can be Given. During the holidays, one of my favorite things to give (and receive) is something created in the kitchen. Bread, cookie mix, spice combinations – I love all of it. Over the years I’ve given so much homemade Kahlua and Irish Cream that some friends just assume that they will receive this gift annually (and have expressed displeasure when I haven’t provided their yearly bottle of sweet coffee liquor!) I could give them the recipe, but that’s not the point. There’s just something sacred about a gift that wasn’t bought at a store.
Food with friends is the best Quality Time. The majority of deep conversations in my life have come over a meal…without technology present. There’s just something about sitting around the table, having dinner with someone. No TV. No phone. Just time to sit and share about the life, understand each other’s thoughts, reconnect and restore a relationship. This was a huge deal growing up. Our family connected at least once, every day, simply sharing dinner. I’m so thankful this was a priority for my parents.
Food, our course, meets our physical needs, but the conversation meets my need to connect. I need people. Not to over-spiritualize this but the Bible is big on the theme that Christians need other Christians. And Jesus spent a lot of time eating with other people or providing incredible amounts of bread and fish to those who came seeking spiritual nourishment. When we eat together we can better know how to support each other.
Eating together is awesome. It’s even better when the food was prepared with love by someone who cares about you. And I need to be more diligent about adding dinner conversations in my weekly schedule.
Now — is it a stretch to say that Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation are included in this list?
If you’re cooking for someone else, the chef’s Physical Touch is just a part of the process. You go and pick out the ingredients at the store. You use your hands to prep and assemble the meal. Dough that has to be kneaded. Salt is pinched. Vegetables are peeled and chopped. Our touch is woven throughout what we create.
…and maybe Words of Affirmation are more directed at the soul of the cook. When someone says “thank you” or simply audibly shows their enjoyment of the food I created, it brings me great joy. It’s not a necessity of course, and I think most people who like to cook don’t do it for the recognition…but hearing that someone is grateful to experience my culinary creation.
So today, I’ll remember all of the love languages as I head to the store. Maybe one of my friends may get a surprise casserole left on their doorstep.
(This blog was written as part of the #my500words writing challenge. Apologies for typos and grammar errors!)
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